by A Dervish of Old Blue Earth County
IN The Sudan there is an English schoolteacher now who has been thrown into jail by the government on charges of “insulting Islam.” This is because her primary pupils all voted to name a stuffed teddy bear “Muhammed,” after a popular seven-year-old classmate. So somehow the religion of Allah is now thrown into mortal peril by the possibility of even accidental disrespect in a childrens’ classroom-game!
FARMERLIKE, I have just got to tell you all, Muslim and non-Muslim alike, THIS is what we call in rural Eagle Lake a “complete crock of shit!”
HOW Do I know this?
WELL — Speaking as a Muslim, mind you! — I happen to have an old snapping turtle in a pasture pond I call Muhammed, Peace Be Upon Him.
JESUS Christ! Just HOW God-damn LONG can this kind of awful “disrespect” even be allowed to go ON?
WELL, Our prophet MuHammad (pbuh) happens to have a lot more important fish to fry, I am no longer just a COMPLETE asshole and humorless idiot in any case (Islam has been GOOD for me anyway!)…and, anyway, well Hell, the turtle don’t mind.
AND So there you have it, I expect that if the mercy and compassion of Allah means anything at all, well, no doubt even these Sudanese fundmentalist hammerheads as well as the Reverend Foulwell and Mr Bush, all will make it into Heaven in the end after all, amin.
[Emmett R Smith all transcription-rights reserved 28 November 2007]