Archive for April, 2008


by Grampa

THE Reverie of an old farmer at the 2007 LeSueur County, MN, tractor show:

CHRIST All mightyI believe I could DO this, by God…AND kick some ASS, too – and TAKE names!  Wow!  Listen to that old Case just HOWL…pocketa-Pocketa-Pocketa-POCK!  Va-ROOM! Huff-varoom-huff-Varoom-chof, Chof, CHOF…!  ‘Sir, this tractor is going to throw both stabilization stramuses — we CAN’T go on!’  ‘Mr Just…God DAMN the stabilization stramuses, tell them God-damn little grandkids to throw MORE kerosene corncobs into the firebox or there WONT be any Teletubbies on Tee Vee fer THEM little sonsofbitches in the morning, by GOD – I’m slamming the dirty bastard down NOW!’  Pocketa-pock…Chof-varoom, Varoom, VAROOM…BAM!  ‘Grampa’s gonna WIN, hooray!’  Pocketa-bam-pocketa-Bam-bam-BAM…bamBamBAM — Chof, varoom, Varoom, VA…BAAAAAM!  Ch…pock…room…eta…aa…a….    Geez, the very next lottery I get… .

(Excerpted from “Tractor-Pulling Farmer-Secrecy Revisited,” Bodwyn Wook — ed)

[Emmett R Smith      all rights reserved     25 April 2008]

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 The Best Of The Best?


Or Is THIS The Girl To Run? 


 July 28, 2007 by Bodwyn Wook, revised 25 April 2008

[THIS Piece in Bodwyn Wook in August, 2007, enjoyed a vogue among regular readers, as I am sure you shall see why for yourselves — BW] 

Letter From Minnesota:

‘Tractor-Pulling Contests & Farmer-Secrecy’

by Bodwyn Wook

THERE Is humiliation in having an american mother to be sure, in sharing nationality with such insubstantial & irreal figures of a lost & damned generation as Mrs Bill Clinton, G W Bush and all of that lot.  No doubt about it…but, also, there are some unexpected (more…)

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by Emmett R Smith

Mrs New York Democrat Senator W J “Bill” Rodham-Clinton has said that she will declare a policy of immediate retaliation on Iran, if (more…)

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by Nejmi Mohammed

The fact is that my friend si‘ Smit’, er, Smeeth’s America and his “Old Atlantic West” ARE deeply (more…)

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by Bodwyn Wook

THIS Is to introduce Ferret From Minot (and Moccasin Creek!), a frequent respondent to these pp & whose mathematical comments allude to vistas both alarming & poignant, and undoubtedly lurking & loitering in waiting for us all.

[Emmett R Smith     all rights reserved    19 April 2008]


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by Emmett R Smith

Objectively, the chinese attempt to hang on to Tibet at all costs is historically and hence finally illegitmate, it is an infantile projection of the immature “political”  personality to cling on like finger-snot all over the place where one is not wanted in this way, and it is just the same — and exactly as invalid — as denying that for instance North Dakota, or the lost and God-damned New Mexico, somehow “doesn’t” have the right to secede from the american Federal Union.

[Emmett R Smith    all rights reserved     8 April 2008]

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by Najeem Mahmood

A wealthy old lady decided to go on a photo safari in Africa, taking her faithful elderly beagle named Smackelfartz along for the company.  One day the old beagle started chasing butterflies and before long, “Smackers” discovered that he was lost.  Wandering about, he noticed a cheetah (more…)

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Lest We Forget

by Bodwyn Wook

Here is a poem by Dorothy Parker, and submitted to our attention by regular reader of Bodwyn Wook, Mr Judson Andersen:


If I had a shiny gun,
I could have a world of fun
Speeding bullets through the brains
Of the folk who give me pains;

Or if I had some poison gas,
I could make the moments pass
Bumping off a number of
people whom I do not love.

But I have no lethal weapon —
Thus does Fate our pleasure step on!
So they are still quick and well
Who should be, by rights, in Hell.

[Emmett R Smith  

[all transcription-rights reserved

[1 April 2008]

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by Emmett R Smith

In Los Angeles The Damned (pace H L Mencken) on Wednesday, 26 March, as reported by Mr Michael D. Shear in the Washington Post, Mr Arizona Republican Senator John “Desert Rat” McCain before the World Affairs Council meeting there ventured to wax globally, about american foreign policy problems.  His was a bold solo in the general (more…)

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