by Emmett Smith
21 November 2008
Dear Congressman Tim Walz & Senator Norm Coleman, I am writing at this time to let you know that I don’t want you fellows to vote to pass ANY bills that bring in any more restrictions on the over-the-counter availability of vitamins, dietary supplements, nutritional aids or homeopathic and herbal products, or what have you.
In fact, you boys don’t need to do anything whatsoever to promote my free and open access to these products in any case, except NOT to pass more unneeded laws.
You should know that I use a wide variety supplements to maintain my health, and that the “quack remedy” effect is pretty amazing too! This is only partly because health insurance is just plain unaffordable to me now. It is of course way too expensive just because of the high salary demands of all of the insurance and health system management professionals who have crowded in at the hog trough. And the worst part is that a person today cannot bargain DIRECTLY an individual price with their own doctor.
But, the OTHER good thing about the so-called “placebo” effect of supplements is that I will be sixty in January, do 101 (!) reps of ALL the USMC “Daily 16” exercises, including four kinds of pushups. Also, I am closing in on fifty pullups, overhand AND underhand. I don’t have a lot of money tied up in weightlifting junk either, or any Bowflex machines, just a pullups bar, and that’s it.
So you can see for yourselves that I am no dub and know what I am doing.
But anyway, even if I am a fool and a halfwit, my right as a free man and a citizen to buy and use all the things I want (or anybody is dumb enough to let me charge!) STILL is absolutely virtually divine in our American free marketplace. Therefore, I do NOT need the Republican OR the Democrat Party to “protect” my rights in this matter.
So you characters just plain do not need to “intervene” now or at all in this matter.
All you need to do is to not interfere with me.
IF there are any problems with these non-prescription goodies, I think you birds already know that my remedy is ALREADY available to me in my freedom to sue the makers and sellers for their back teeth, in just the same way as one would sue his doctor and pharmacist for any harm caused by any of their regular “safe” medical prescriptions. In the worst case, if I should happen to accidentally off myself with any supplements and be a “victim” or something, well then my ex-wife, various ex-girlfriends, and my family and former drinking buddies, will all discover suddenly how much they “really” loved me, and THEY will take care of it in court.
Just like they would if the pornographic but officially FDA approved Viagra made me blow a valve or something…
With many thanks to you for your kind attention and help, I am sincerely, etc.
PS: About the Viagra, this scam is supposed to be a prescription deal too, but you guys know just as well as I do that if I want I can get all I want of that crap online, so I think that the FDA management professionals already have too many problems without trying to “regulate” vitamins.
PPS: If you accidentally do let them try to, well I will just go and buy the stuff I want “illegally” and there is really nothing anyone can do anymore these days to stop me, anyway. Sorry….
PPPS: I guess the real point is that if you seriously want people to respect the law, well it is best not to pass stupid ones.
[Emmett R Smith all rights reserved 21 November 2008]