The Curse Of The “Public Safety” Volunteer
by Anglo-American Farmer Bodwyn Wook
Someone in England wrote today about the plague of the neighbourhood, er, neighborhood block warden (I think that’s what they are called), always anxious to sign up with the local council to tell people what to do.
There is a dribble down here too, of the last of the Bushite “Homeland Security” “free” money “from off of the government” to encourage the local fire department volunteers and other types to fantasize about signing on (additionally) as things like “Event Monitors.” And county fair “Security Staff” and such. There is typically a short course, a Saturday afternoon or maybe two Thursday evenings, it means a deal on car insurance sometimes and you also are shown slides of Yasser Arafat and things. You get on passing out usually a navy teeshirt or hoody that reads “Security” in white block letters, useful in luring and deceiving (some more) the local contingent of unwed moms:
“Yeah, Baby, I know what’s what around here!”
“Oh, Jason, you’re so…worldly!”
(In a barroom or at the liquorstore it means you know who’s got the best coke and is dealing meth and stuff, because you’re the bouncer.)
[Bodwyn Wook all rights reserved 18 May 2009]