Exercises For Farmers
by Anglo-American Farmer Bodwyn Wook
A blogger in England wrote that they object mightily to the proposed NHS scheme whereby everyone over fifty be put on statin and other cardiovascular medications. These pills of course are not good for you. Naturally, the real question is cui bono? I replied:
Thanks! for yet another opportunity to swell and blow and PREEN.
At 60, I do 111 reps apiece of all the USMC “Daily 16” floor exercises, four sorts of pushups, various crunches and so forth. Also, I am at fifty overhand pullups and sixty-five underhand, shooting for 111 of these each also, and I run a half mile each day.
The satisfactions of a sneering egotism and, in my case, the very good chance of the mother of all haemorrhagic strokes, which means at thirty-odd miles from any hospital hopefully that I shall be dead and safely in Hell before The Pricks & Liberals can resuscitate me as a nursinghome plaything.
Consequently, another commentor said some unduly nice things about me being an inspiration (Jesus Christ!), and so I had to climb down a bit….
R, you at least I perceive I owe the gift of at least some honesty in all this…when I get to seventy-three or eighty-two of the so-called “bomber” (ass-in-th-air) pushups, I usually have to pause in place for a few puffs in order to finish. As to the cross-crunches, I usually make sixty-five or seventy-three or so to right or left, switch sides and then go back for the difference each way.
And, no, I’m sorry this stuff does not reduce ones midriff, not at this age, but I do have just about the most well-trained potbelly in these parts anyway. To LOSE weight one must eat less, this is as we say here “a “crock of shit” and, frankly, I’d rather do MORE reps, work.
The way to make all exercises go well over the longterm in middle and late life like this is to do plenty of stretching beforehand and to jog or bike a bit for starters to get the word out to ones heart that, OK, we’re going to be doing this again now. Likewise, to jog off in place a couple hundred steps the adrenaline and lactic acid buildup between the hard bits really helps, too, and takes the heart-rate down gradually and hence less poisonously.
“Getting” the regular exercise habit is not for the easygoing and good natured. It helps no end to be venomous and spiteful. It also helps to be afflicted by “a professional” with a diagnosis of the so-called “problem” of being an obsessive and at least somewhat driven (“compulsive,” ie) type — that helps especially when it’s a case of keeping track of the number of reps, what am I doing today? and so on.
This whole “OCD” thing is nothing but a form of special pleading by The Psychologists, themselves not an orderly group. It is a low manifestation of the “democratic spirit,” naturally at the common denominator. In fact were it not for us “compulsives” things would be whole lot worse than they are now.
Not to say rather more dirty.
I’m not saying that us OCDs are the Sufis or anything, but we practically are. Anyway, the real jacks of the human pack, and The Cause of so much of the Swine Flu and runaway checkbook overdrafts, of course are the ITBTs and UTBIAHs, the Inability To Be Tidys and the Unable To Be In A Houses. These people are just a load of hogs. The Psychologists who mainly depend on state subsidies of course, and usually have a string of divorces under their own belts, are in no hurry to find a “cure” for any of the misery that comes from putting up with these skunks, and in any case having lots of folks on file is good for business. These credentialed professionals dream, like crows of dead animals all along the roadside, of the day when universal DNA testing will enable them with government connivance to sign up everyone from kindergarten on….
So much for the satisfactions of regular exercise, a pleasant home with some nice cats lounging in the Sun…or psychology.
The choice is yours.
[Bodwyn Wook all rights reserved 21 May 2009]