Voices From The Past: PRR Engineman Preserved Wook
by Joseph Curwen
“‘Global Warming’ you say? And the government in on it too? Well, goodness gracious, count me in, where do I sign up for mine? What’s that…NOT to burn coal you say? How’s that again, but just how ever in Tophet do you propose getting to get to the warm part without some fires…lots of fires? Burning coal’s ‘bad’ you say? Why no, it’s good, real good, I can tell you that alright, when you’re rolling westbound out of Crestline and making ninety miles per across Indiana. Out west there where it’s flatter than a dark far whaling ground on a black nighttime in February, well now, a nice hot fire on the grate and an ashmonkey that knows his business, gee-Pharisee, that’s right nice and cozy…. What’s that you say now, ‘catastrophic climate change’ be what the professors at Miskatonic denominate it?
“Now don’t that actually and pluperfectedly beat all? The effect can be but twofold, and it will be only to put me out of work and on top of it, why then we all must freeze as well! Do you know, I do believe that this is a case-example of why old Uncle Analdas always said back home in Maine that this higher education is positively not for the common people, and that it just plain disturbs some folks in the balance of their mind. It’s a lot of stuff is all. And then it goes to work and does ’em one right in the neck for good and all, and finally just out of spite, why it plain derails and unhinges ’em completely — and then, oh Jehosaphat, we all have to suffer the chillblains AND while listening to the confoundedest consternationment. It’s a spectacle of confusion altogether like a duck as has been hit on the head. I will say I am thankful for this much anyway, that I at least never went to the university and never even set foot in as much as a little country college. Never a once. Man’s reason is that fragile an affair, I tell you. Old Uncle Analdas did always say this, that the bible is not meant for the little children and that the human mind can NOT bear even as much as the reading of all of holy scripture, let alone decipherment of the bare naked nature. No more than it can reverse sin or listen unblemished, to a radio or the melodeon….
“And I do actually now believe both under God and the Republic that there is nothing, I tell you not a thing, not even in old Mather, to beat this one that you have fetched in crosswise and impossible-like at the doorway this time — NOT to burn coal…
[Bodwyn Wook all channelling- & transcription rights reserved, and all other rights revert to holders 6 July 2009]