by Benny Raymond
[Benny Raymond is a former American Peace Corps volunteer who served in Morocco on the eve of the “Reagen Miracle” and, worse than merely “native,” went Moslem — ed]
…As to the floor toilets of Morocco, the infamous “squat shitters” so much the terror of tourists, I really went for these in a big way — when you hunch & and kind of rotate on your ankles & then just, well, jam you really do compress & squeeze up & wad together, and then unwad & immensely let loose all in a go, a steaming hot faecal eversion in one, single, earthshattering volcanic gout & expulsive blast, it IS really good for the bowels…but, now, thirty-some years on, I do just plain doubt like Hell that my knees could take it anymore! All of the other Americanos, except Jim Baxter out of California and who’d been to Afghanistan and Nepal, complained & clenched up & two needed in ten days or so to be “unpacked” in a French clinic on the Peace Corps dime, in Rabat. “Comme un pierre…” murmured the French-educated Moe who “did” Rick Brandenberger out of Vail, CO, and my training roommate, rapping with brown mohametan knuckles on Rick’s oakhard & drum stretched, terd-taut underbelly. The procedure then was for two young berber boys, Gharkh who was eight and Ghukin, eleven, to thrum briskly with small rawhide mallets all over Rick’s lower abdomen as the “tebab” manned the tube & valve, and peered closely with nearsighted close-set black eyes, at a number of critical gauges on the corroded & paraffin-fired brass “chauffeur de l’eau bien sante.” At the critical instant, the little doctor murmured “maintenant” and two ruffianly bald Algerian truck drivers, huge in black tights & fezzes, and with swinging bare bellies, whose tribal specialty this particular Turkish bath healing work is, snatched Rick upright into the air and dangled him with swinging bare legs over the floor hole as the medical officiant yanked forth the critical intubation.
The results as beneficial as they were putrid were, as well, instanter; and, that is a fair specimen of the freemarket doctoring to be had in an admittedly despotic Islamic land….
I mean, Christ, I am from out of Eagle Lake, MN., and as far as any of that old shit goes, it really IS the better religion!
[all rights reserved
[27 February 2011]