On Postmodern Women & Perfection & Alcohol
posted by B Wook
My maternal Swiss-German female relatives in southern Minnesota in my grandmother’s generation were massive teetotalers, one & all; drinking they left to their as-large but toadlike men, all clearly the besotted avatars of a lower race.
Already in the 1930s in the full reek of enraged middle age, all of the women on that side of my family said, “God DAMN,” had massive lard-white table legs shot with hideous indigo venosities, arms to match as to size, their hair up in kerchiefs, like Aunt Jemima. Their baby brother Carl in turn went to work & married a Waseca, MN, female of precisely the same massive & ill-omened phenotype, thus proving blood to be thicker than water, only her people originally were from Hesse!
These women all went about in sensible housedresses & aprons, white ankle socks (filthy after a session of barn chores!) & black sensible shoes. And, THEIR mother sued her old buck husband for divorce in 1905 & won after he brought home a dose of the clap; syphilis was the HIV of a century ago. “Let the respectable bastards all howl and go straight to Hell!” declaimed my great-grandmother on being informed that she was no longer respectable in the country neighborhood of the Old Eagle Road in Blue Earth County. “I cleaned the dirty sonofabitch out and, by God, that’s That for THAT!”
Whereas she did, too, got half the plow ground & the farmyard, made her ex sleep upstairs & use the outside stairs & stay away from their kids. She saw to it, too, that her three daughters all had means to go to the Normal School in old Hangtown Mankato, MN, under its freight of Indian hanging-history & rotting mansard rooves. In that way, they could all become schoolteachers “and NOT have to marry some dirty bastard!”
[all rights revert to holders
[19 October 2013]