“[T]o be A…Asshole!”
The Turtle & The Scorpion
by Naml al-Haddad ‘ibn Ghurab ‘bu Kedhib beni Shaitan
Moving right along, in The More Loud Political Discussions around here [this witty & accomplished essay first appeared on FaceBook — ed], I often have to send people on the side a Message, saying:
“Please do take my name OFF of the political thread, there; I’m not unsympathetic, but, I don’t want to piss anybody off by being myself in the middle of all of the Big Doings & Excitement.
What is most frustrating is that so much mutual contempt & even “hatred” among us all stems from things like the ignorance of History, or even just of the ordinary everyday differences in individual personality.
And, then, if you go too far in trying to bring up these “irrelevancies” to folks busy trying to wring each others’ necks, why, then you can REALLY catch a boot in the ass — it may even produce a rare CONSENSUS among the mutual antagonists.
You’ll KNOW that that one has happened when The Dumb Bastards all buddy up & show up in your yard in a big mob with torches & rakes to burn down YOUR house!
(Now of course a Sufi, for instance, might even deliberately try to create such an effect, say for Teaching Purposes.
(But since I am no Sufi, it all reminds me that much more, even, of the time in Morocco when The Turtle came upon The Scorpion running up & down alongside the Dra’a River.
(There was a flash flood on & The Turtle offered to swim The Scorpion across on his back.
(“Jesus Christ,” buzzed The Scorpion suspiciously, “Just WHY in the God-damned Hell would you want to EVEN do that…so WHAT’S in it to for you?”
(“Think nothing of it, my good man,” rumbled the Turtle. “It is simply in my nature to be helpful!”
(So, The Scorpion hopped on & away they paddled.
(On the far bank, The Scorpion hopped off & immediately let The Turtle have it three times — zap-zap-ZAP! — with his stinger, before The Turtle could pull inside his house to safety.
(“Is THAT how you reward The Helpful?” groaned The Turtle, in pain & sorrow.
(“What th’…Oh, fer Christ’s sakes, yapping in Hell, what do you MEAN?” blared The Scorpion.
(“God DAMN it, you said that YOUR nature is to help people. So did I BITCH? No-o…o…o!
(“So why do YOU bellyache around now when I bite you a good one right smack dab in the ass?
(“It is simply in MY nature — to be A…Asshole”)
(all rights reserved
(20 Rajab 1435)